It’s almost the end of the year of 2012. Nine months have been passed, and now we’re entering the tenth month. It’s been a great year for me. I did many varied projects, from being public relations manager, organizing ultra marathon race, starting to be part-time French speaking tour guide, being vice local unit of cinema movie production, and will be involving as a member of advisory board of a hikers jamboree soon. And yes, I’ll be working with those 40-something years old guys, again :p
And above all, I did my hobby and I was paid. What else could be better?
I met a lot of people, including a film crew who gave me a flower when we waited for dinner. And yeah, it was cauliflower that supposed to be our dinner meal. I know he was too creative to be true 🙂
I met and got to know some Indonesian actors and actresses, and I even ran together with one of the casts on the way down from Ranu Kumbolo to Ranupani. Who could easily get chance to run together with a brilliant basketball player who is also an actor? I got to know astute Indonesian cameraman, film director, film producer, and great movie crews., too That was really an asset for me.
I also got to know some great sportsmen, who mostly are extreme runners, who usually run for hundreds of kilometers. It was an honor for me to be with them and learn that within ultra marathon, we’re not conquering the terrain of the stages, but we’re conquering ourselves.
I also met some wilderness guys who shared same vision with me, that nature is our home. Well, anyway, I’m not that naturist who get naked on the beach. No, not that kind of naturist. It is another one :p That harmony between people and environment is essential. That sometimes, in the jungle, we can find a peaceful moment of solitude although we’re surrounded by many adventurer fellows. That in the wilderness, the one that we consider a stranger can be like friend. We can talk and share foods or water, in the name of survival. A picture of life that may be hard to find in the selfish life of metropolitan city.
I also met a client who is a photographer, documentary film maker, and production house owner. He was the one I guided on East Java tour. He`was a director of a film institute in France. What an honor to meet great person and learned from him.
Despite my break-up story, this year of my life sounds great, huh?
It wouldn’t be great if I didn’t set myself to be a “yes-woman”. Yes, I sometimes picky in term of accepting jobs or do things in general. I sometimes doubt of myself whether I would be able to do a thing or not. Sometimes I feel afraid of failure.
This blog is the simplest example. I know I’m good at writing such kind of scientific papers and talking at the seminars or debates, but I’m not good at writing stories or fictions, or such kind of popular pieces. That’s why I started to write in this blog to sharpen my (potential) talent.
I actually didn’t sure whether I wanted to do this year’s edition of Les Volcans De L’extreme or not. It was 230-something kilometers, mate! It wasn’t easy. I had to walk and make sure that everything’s well prepared. It wasn’t easy to concentrate on two things at the same time. But hell, yeah, I know I was crazy to accept being the chief of organization, along with Dacchiri Dawa Sherpa, a Nepali extreme runner. And I know I was crazy to know that everything was well done 🙂
I also didn’t actually want to be involved in the movie production, since I’ve never done that kind of job before. Organizing 90 movies crew and 230 supporting crews wasn’t easy at all. But then I challenged myself; if I could do this well, I’ll use the money I get to explore South East Asia with my brother. And yes, overall it was well done. Although there were some misunderstandings that I needed to clarify to the producer. It wasn’t easy to argue with the son of well-known production house owner, but finally they accepted my clarification because I told them the truth. Yes, I believe that good deeds always win 🙂
I wasn’t really confident of my French. I know I’m mastering English but I wasn’t sure that I would be able to communicate well in French. But hell yeah, everything was fine in the end. There was no major lost in translation thing 🙂
And lately I just said “yes” to the owner of an adventure gears producer to be involved in his project. I’ll be the youngest member of advisory board of a huge event ; mountain hikers jamboree. I’m so proud of the trust he gave to me. It’s not that I think I’m a very good organizer, but it’s another chance for me to prove to myself that it’s not age that determines ability, but hard work and positive willingness.
Now I learn from myself that sometimes we’re too afraid of doing something, even before we jump in to that activity. Sometimes we put too high standard of the outcome of what we do. Sometimes we put too much doubt to ourselves. Sometimes we grow self-disbelief inside us. Sometimes we think we’re too weak, while actually people think we’re good enough to do a thing. Sometimes we over think. Sometimes we try to always control the outcome of what we do. Sometimes our fear of being failed covers our true potentials. Sometimes we are too focused on negative thoughts instead of the positive ones.
I know, being insecure is really human. But now I know that life’s like roller coaster. It has ups and downs, and turning out sharply. Shit happens, and so do good things. As long as we try our best, the result will follow. Trying not to over think the outcome of what we do will lead us to bliss. Letting go of fear of being failed will lead us to bring it on, to give our best shot. We won’t know whether a food tastes good or not if we don’t eat that, right?
So, c’est dans la tête; it’s inside our head. Once Descartes said “Except our own thoughts, there is nothing absolutely in our power”.